Sex Education: Anal Douching. For Beginners by Topher Taylor

This is a guide for BEGINNERS that want to do their very best to avoid accidents during anal sex. People like myself, who like the reassurance and feeling of being clean and clear before anal of any kind. I will repeat that quite a lot, as I know this topic instigates a lot of arguments. I also enjoy the process of douching, as part of my ‘sex routine’.

Before we get into it, it’s important to acknowledge that accidents do happen and I will address this later in the guide. Don’t get into bed (or the sling, etc) with someone who makes you feel so terrified of ‘mess’ that you don’t enjoy the sex. Your comfort is always paramount. This is non-negotiable. Every time you feel like letting this slide, think of me hitting you with an ashtray.

The purpose of the type of anal douching I discuss in this guide is to clear out any residual or left-over poop/faeces (whatever you call it) that is present in the entrance of the anus. It’s not to completely empty your lower bowels. This is not a guide to using an enema. When you douche, you squirt water inside the entrance of your anus, to draw any leftover or upcoming ‘mess’ from where the penis/fingers/toy, etc will go. Resulting in you being able to have it stimulated without poop getting involved.

This is my way of doing things. Which I’ve been very successful with. I might not know algebra, how to keep my mouth shut, or the offside rule… but trust me, I know sex.

Bottom Shaming Disclaimer:

There are lots of people out there that don’t care about potential “accidents” and that’s ABSOLUTELY FINE. But it’s just not me. I care, and I’ve learned over the years what to take into consideration and how to avoid them.

This guide isn’t here to reinforce or encourage shame, but to carefully assist with your comfort – should you want anal sex without accidents. You don’t need to apologise for that, by the way, or even explain it to anyone. I have lost count of the number of sanctimonious rants I’ve had directed at me about my choice to have mess-free anal sex – but it’s my choice. My body. My bedsheets. And as long as it’s done carefully and responsibly – it’s all good. Comfort is such an important part of great sex.

Always do what makes you comfortable, as long as it’s safe and consensual.


I’ve never had a sense of toilet humour. Ever. When people fart around me, I don’t find it funny. Maybe I’m miserable but that’s just who I am. I don’t like poo talk and I don’t like bad smells. I’ve always been really funny about smells. My flat constantly reeks of scented disinfectants, plug-in air fresheners, and wax melts. My Dad says I smell like a “whores handbag”. Which is a huge compliment. It’s interesting that I get so funny about bad smells and toilet stuff, as I really love anal sex – and as we all know; your anus is there for a very specific purpose. To poop.

When I first fully understood my sexuality and began to understand that I was interested in anal sex, I kind of had the same humorous (and sometimes homophobic) perception as every other young person in the 90’s and early 2000’s: you use Vaseline or spit on it – and it’ll probably fucking hurt. You bend over like they do in porn films and let a man use your bum. It was all laced with shame and dark humour. I didn’t know a THING about reciprocal pleasure. I mean, I wouldn’t because my Roman Catholic school’s idea of “sex education” was 15 minutes of kids giggling about periods and wet dreams – with my classmates shouting over the terribly laidback teacher. So, I’m not surprised that I was clueless.

But still, the idea of a guy having sex with my bum was appealing. It was an organic attraction to anal sex and I could instinctively feel that my body wanted it. When I saw a gorgeous man, I fantasised about him being inside of me. And, I still get that same feeling now. Because it is natural – it just takes some preparation. Which leads me to my next paranoia which was… what about the mess?  Surely if you put something in your butt it’s unhygienic and it’s going to get… dirty? And won’t it smell?! This was my personal idea of a nightmare.

It wasn’t until I started working in sex shops at age 18, that I was told about anal douching. I knew about colonic irrigation (a celeb trend in the early 2000s) but I didn’t know anything about this. My boss, Jessica, who had previously been an adult film star, walked me through how she would prepare her butt for anal scenes by using a shower attachment. Initially, I was disgusted, as I assumed she ejected the dirty water into the bath – but she informed me that you pop along to the toilet, sit down, release and repeat until you’re comfortable with the water’s clarity. Some people do use the bath/shower etc, but that could never be me.

Douche Shopping: Clonezone Soho‘s Bulb Douches

The sex shop also had other weird rubber bulb-looking rubber things that I’d seen in chemists, these were called BULB DOUCHES. On my first few shifts, I had assumed that they were there for removing sperm from the vulva after sex, but I was soon educated otherwise...

Bulb douches are simple, easy-to-use, handheld devices that allow you to spray water inside of the entrance of your anus – to wash out any faeces that may be hanging around. Dependent on your lifestyle, diet, etc, it can be relatively clear in there… or it can be messy from where you’ve recently been to the toilet – or maybe about to.


To answer simply: No, you don’t need to. If you eat a high fibre diet and/or have regular and predictable (and non-sticky) bowel movements – sometimes just a quick wipe around with a finger and/or toy/nozzle can be enough. Maybe a spray with the shower.

It’s completely up to you. As I repeat in almost everything that I write: comfort is paramount.


Anyway, let’s begin. For beginners, I would always advise beginning with a simple anal bulb douche. There are shower attachments, enema kits, dildo-shaped toys, etc., etc available. But if you are a beginner – stick to bulbs for the time being. To this day, I still only use a bulb douche. It’s just my personal preference. Mostly because I cannot be arsed to keep detaching and reattaching shower nozzles. You will learn over time, what’s best for you.

There are lots on the market, and it can sometimes be overwhelming deciding which one will be best for you – so just keep it very simple.

It’s important, as a beginner, to select a simple bulb douche that has a narrow nozzle. Lots of products have exaggerated nozzles, including curved ones, ribbed one, even ones that are shaped like penises – but let’s keep it simple (and affordable) to begin with. Nice and slim to start. You can grab one for around £8-15 from any sex shop.


  1. The douche itself.
  2. A good lubricant. I recommend a thicker, hybrid lube (mix of water-based and silicone) for maximum comfort.
  3. Toilet roll and/or flushable, eco-friendly wipes.
  4. A disposable towel.

My DM’s and email inbox are always open if you want specific recommendations:

Click here to shop douches, lubricants, and more from Clonezone. Use ‘TOPHER15’ for 15% OFF.


  1. When your douche first arrives, the first thing you want to do is clean it. Don’t skip this step. You don’t know how long it has sat in a warehouse or on a shipping container or if it has powder from its molding process on the surface – and you’re going to be inserting this into your anus. So, give it a good clean with an anti-bacterial sex toy cleaning spray and plenty of warm water. Clean until there are NO bubbles left from the spray. If you don’t have a sex toy cleaning spray, a gentle soap and warm water will do. Even Vodka can be used.
  2. Check the nozzle for bumps and scratches. I’ve hurt myself in the past by using a douche that has bits of plastic chipped off, or where the ‘mold pouring’ process in the factory has dripped a little leaving a little bump of hard plastic. You’re not likely to find anything – but always check. If you find a fault, contact the retailer and ask for a replacement. Don’t chip, break, or rub it off. Get a replacement.
  3. Get used to how quickly the water fires out of the nozzle once the bulb is squeezed. The reason I suggest doing some practice runs is, you don’t want to immediately ‘fire’ loads of water up into yourself, which can happen if you squeeze too hard.
  4. Check how easy it is to fill to the top. You want to make sure it’s always filled right to the brim, or you’ll be pushing air into yourself. This is more awkward on bulbs with very narrow openings for the nozzle. With some douches, you may need to submerge it and squeeze it to encourage the suction to fill it with water. Pushing a small amount of air inside of yourself won’t really do any harm, it just means that the air will want to come out – which isn’t always the most fun when you’re getting bonked in the butt. Unless you’re into that.

Please note: ONLY use water for douching. Do not use soaps, perfume, cleaning products, disinfectants, or anything other than H2O. This is non-negotiable.


  1. When you are starting to douche for the first time – do it alone without the intention of having anal sex. These are test runs and help you to better learn the process, so you can have confidence when douching for sex with a partner(s). It’s also a great way to gauge what ‘state’ your tummy is in with how you’ve been eating/drinking that day and the evening before.
  2. Go and sit your cute butt on the toilet.
  3. Now, grab your douche. The first thing you want to do is fill the douche with warm water. Check the temperature of the water very carefully, as the last thing you want is to send boiling hot or freezing cold water into yourself. It is NOT fun if you aren’t expecting it. Let your tap run for a few seconds, so you can gauge the temperature with confidence.
  4. Apply a generous amount of lube to your anus and the douche nozzle. In the early days, too much is never going to be ‘too much’. If you are very sensitive (like myself), you’ll use a generous amount of a thicker lube. A thicker lube helps to create a ‘cushion’ between the nozzle and your sensitive internal walls. Lube is non-negotiable. Use it. Lots of it.
  5. When inserting the nozzle, if it feels awkward, ‘push out’ your anal muscles – almost as if you’re going to the toilet. This will help to relax and open the entryway for the nozzle to glide inside.
  6. When the nozzle is nice and deep inside (insert it fully) now is time to squeeze and push the water inside. The harder and quicker you ‘squeeze’, the higher the water will shoot up. Just remember, this is just to clear out the entranceway, so you don’t need to fire it up into your belly.
  7. Once the water is inside, in the beginning you’ll often feel the urgent need to release it – which is fine. But I find that holding it inside and jiggling around feels nice and tickles. Plus, you’ll feel extra satisfied as its released.
  8. Now – release. Pay attention to the clarity of the water. It’s very important to remember that you don’t always get rid of 100% of the water on the first release. You’re sending water inside, which may reach the curving and winding shape of your lower bowels, so it can take time to make its way back down.
  9. You may need to remove toilet blocks and scented disinfectants that hang in the toilet bowl. The reason being, they have a tendency to discolour and leave bubbles in the water, and you want to see what’s going on.
  10. Repeat. Keep repeating until you are confident with the clarity of the water. Leave 2-5-minute gaps between each go. Re-apply a gentle amount of lube with each insertion. This may seem excessive but your anus will thank you for it in the long run.
  11. Remember that the water doesn’t need to be ‘crystal clear’ to have anal sex without mess. You’ll often find that you’ll hit a point where the water is generally clear with a few tiny flake-like bits swirling around. Generally, here, you are good-to-go. You don’t need to be squirting out Evian, babes.
  12. Now it’s time to wait for all of the water to exit. This can take up to 30 minutes naturally – but if you want to ‘speed it up’ – go and lay on your bed sideways (on your LEFT) and gently massage your tummy in circular motions. Put a towel underneath you in case something ‘urgently’ squirts out. You can also do this with a hot shower, but I find the laying down method is much more efficient.
  13. When the last of the water comes out, you’ll have a very clear idea of how ‘clean’ you are.
  14. A lot of people like to do a ‘finger test’ after to make sure the entrance is free from mess. If you’re going to do this, use lube and consider your fingernails before sliding it in. If you have long or sharp nails, consider a rubber glove or even a condom.
  15. Wash your hands. And shower/bathe if you wish. I know I do.

Please note: If douching ever takes longer than 45 mins – 1 hour… give your body a rest. The best thing to do when it’s taking ‘ages’ is to give your body a break and the ‘movements’ time to catch up. In the case that it is taking this long, you’re most probably bringing down mess that wouldn’t be coming out anyway. This is why I recommend test runs, which we will get to now.


After douching and trying anal play, for the first few times – you may begin to notice patterns.  This is why I advise doing test runs, so you can learn how things like your diet, your hydration, your lifestyle (and sometimes your mood) can affect how your douche session will go. Plus, roughly how much time you need to allocate. The best way to figure out how effectively you can douche is to pay attention to patterns.

Me for example – it takes me MUCH longer to douche (to the clarity I am comfortable with) if I am hungover or feeling the after-effects of alcohol. Therefore, I combat this by either:

1. Not drinking,

2. Drinking less…

3. …or factoring the extra time in, if I have been drinking.

You are much more likely to enjoy sex without distractions if you’re feeling prepared and can focus on the fun at hand. And I want you to enjoy it. If you want to learn about getting into and enjoying anal sex, click here for my comprehensive ‘Beginners Guide to Anal Sex.

I also have a podcast episode dedicated to ‘Getting into Anal Sex’. Click here to listen, for free.


This is when we talk about the foods to avoid and eating/drinking behaviours to take into consideration if you want to have confident anal sex without the mess.

Disclaimer: I would never advise living your life and controlling your diet to assure that ‘accidents don’t happen but on the other hand, I understand why you’d want to gently take it into consideration. Because I do. And I know lots of people that do the same – especially my sex worker friends. Let me reiterate that this guide is simply MY way of doing things.

It’s your job to learn the balance and coordinate things the best way for you. I see lots of memes of bottoms eating ice cubes before sex, or simply starving themselves to avoid mess. I know this can be a ‘LOL’ on Instagram. But please, do not starve yourself. And I mean that. No penises, fingers, or sex toys are worth starving your beautiful body for. And I’m not just saying that to sound PC. Treat your body with love & respect – and you’ll get the most out of it. Also, if you have the kind of sex that I have… you’ll need all of your energy.

I just typically advise avoiding ‘indulgent’ foods around the time of sex, as these are typically the most likely to encourage upset stomachs and bowel movement.

If you want specifics, here are the foods and drinks that I avoid before having anal sex:

  • Spicy food. This is science. Chilli peppers and cayenne contain something called capsaicin. This encourages the TRPV1 receptors in your intestinal tract, usually encouraging your body to go to the toilet faster than normal.
  • Very oily food. When you eat very fatty food, or a lot of food, your body encourages the colon to empty. This often happens with very oily and fatty foods.
  • Junk food. Very similar to the above. The high fat content isn’t great for having a settled feeling in your tummy.
  • Red Meat. Just a pattern I’ve heard from lots of sex worker friends.
  • Fresh fruit. I hate saying this as it sounds wrong to tell people to avoid fresh fruit – but the truth is, it can encourage movement very quickly. So perhaps save until after playtime.
  • Just after eating. I’m not saying starve yourself before sex, but as you eat food, your body will want to release space in order to take the new food in. So, try and give some time after eating a larger meal to see if ‘movement’ is encouraged.
  • Foods and drinks with artificial sweeteners. This includes diet drinks, diet desserts etc. They contain sugar alcohols which in large quantities, or to sensitive tummies, can cause a laxative effect.
  • Milky foods and drinks. Same as above.
  • Caffeine. Including tea and coffee. Because it makes you poop. Even if it’s cold.
  • Hot drinks. These often soften the stool and help it move through you quicker.
  • Red Wine and Guinness. The day/night before. If you drink them heavily, they dye your insides red/black and it makes douching the following day a bit of a nightmare. Because any ‘innocent’ water, may be discoloured and release. Also, the staining can carry a gross ‘old alcohol’ smell that’s not pleasant IMO.
  • Drugs. Now, I’m not judging people who partake in recreational activities. Personally, it’s not for me. But there are certain drugs that make your body need to poop. The uppers. I’m not googling the science behind this, as I don’t want to invite the piggies into my flat, but yes – do your research. Also, I don’t advise having sex whilst under the influence as your judgement isn’t at 100%. ESPECIALLY as a beginner.
  • Cum. Yes, swallowing cum can make you poop – and quite urgently sometimes. It doesn’t happen to everyone but it does happen to me.


If you are new to taking PrEP (the amazing, amazing, amazing, HIV preventative medication), please note it can give you an upset tummy in the beginning. It doesn’t happen to everyone, but just be aware.

But DO NOT skip taking PrEP if you’re having unprotected sex. Just factor it in, in the early days. So, if it upsets your stomach – take it in the morning if you’re meeting in the afternoon/evening. This will need to be adjusted if you’re taking event-based as opposed to daily.

Email me if you’re unsure. If you skip PrEP I will come at you with that ashtray I mentioned in the intro.

Click here to learn about how to access PrEP from the amazing Team Prepster.

Now… what CAN you eat?! I know the above list is long but I’ll give you a really helpful piece of advice: FIBRE IS YOUR FRIEND. Alongside plenty of water (before douching too, as this helps keep fibre-heavy food moving – alongside moving your stool closer to the exit point… if you get me). Eat light, simple, and clean if you want peace of mind before having anal. You don’t have to skip on flavour – just be mindful of what your body reacts to.

But do not starve yourself. Ever. Not only is it bad for your body, but it’s also worth noting that starving yourself can lead to diarrhoea and a generally upset stomach. So, you may punk yourself.

Personally, I like really rich and often spicy food. With this in mind, I’ve learned how and when to eat comfortably if I’m going to be having sex. You may already know these patterns already from day-to-day life and from trying different cuisines.

But again, as I said, pay attention to the patterns. Knowledge is power, and you’ll soon learn how your body responds best and what choices lead to your comfort and confidence with anal sex.

Just don’t starve yourself. I have an Irish mother who would also remind you that there are people in this world who’d do anything for the food that you’re lucky enough to have on your plate.


John Thomas: ‘Best Bottom’ Award Winner

“I douche because I want to have sex with confidence, removing any worries from my head beforehand that I am going to spoil a sexual encounter with my shit. I douche very deep and very thoroughly, partly because of the type of sex I have (or if I know I will be filming for several hours) but also because of this fear of not being clean. It’s a fear that I know I take too far and is somewhat irrational. When I was younger, I would just hope for the best, not douche, and mostly this seemed fine; or if I or my partner was dirty it wasn’t the catastrophe that I now imagine it to be. Similarly, I worry less about douching when I’m with a long-term partner – I might quickly check myself with a finger, for example, to see if I’m alright to go for an impulsive act of making love first thing in the morning. Even before winning Best Bottom, I felt huge pressure when hooking up with someone or going to a sex party to deliver the ‘John Thomas experience’ and not giving anyone a reason to be able to gossip about my failings as a bottom, especially not being clean. I don’t know why I hold myself to this standard, I don’t think it’s very healthy (for my mind or my gut!) because I know it’s not a standard that I as a top hold my bottoms too, and in my experience, the vast majority of tops never shame a bottom when they have a little accident. I’ve recently started using dietary fibre supplements [Flawless for Men] which I am finding is giving me confidence and enabling me to douche less and putting less strain on my body when I prepare for sex.” – JT

Amadeus: Adult Content Creator, Model & Bodybuilder

“Personally, I don’t want to be that bottom that is dirty. You feel good after. You know you are clean and good to go. For whatever happens. I can admit it can be a pain if the body is not in the mood and you feel like ‘where is it all coming from?'” – A

Ms Lenina Crowne: Adult Performer & Comedienne

“I suppose I anal douche primarily to avoid mess, but also because the sensation of anal sex is far better when one has a totally empty rectum! If there is even the tiniest piece of shit up there, it can make the sensation odd. I think the second point is actually quite important and one that isn’t discussed enough! An empty rectum feels considerably more pleasurable.”- LC

CJ: Adult Content Creator & Model

“For me, I douche for a few reasons these days, and how ‘much’ I douche does depend on what I’m up to. Generally a quick hookup I might have a quick clean-up, just a hand bulb and that’s it. Mainly just to be sure for me, I play raw and I love to suck a guys cock after he’s unloaded in me, so I want to be sure I’m just gonna be tasting load n lube (ok I don’t need lube but let’s pretend I’m tight still), not anything else….
But also, I do douche deeper when I’m going for a party, or a fist session, or going to play on my big toys. I make douching part of my prep n play, I have some porn on and might have some poppers too. It’s also a feeling I enjoy, a feeling of lightness and my hole is ready for exploration. When going through that second ring, that’s where you’re body holds waste back. I douche to clean that section ready as taking a fist or a big toy is gonna be going through there (and oh boy when it does *rolls eyes back and growls*). I want to be able to play for a while and not have anything coming out I don’t want. The smell can linger and then the session is over for me.
Making sure my botty is deep cleaned gives me confidence and comfort I can play for a while, plus when you’re filming or at a party it’s nicer for all that you’ve made an effort to clean your hole ready. Yes, sometimes things can still ‘backfire’ but it’s just nature. Clean up ‘n’ carry on as best you can, sometimes you might need to stop and shower fully – but then there’s always next time.
However I will say to guys if they intend to go out to parties/sex clubs and you plan on taking cock/more, just have a quick rinse out to be sure. It’s hot being around these places, but when there’s more than just a little accident, that smell lingers and often ends the night for a fair few people; scat is a fetish but a little more niche than most.”
– CJ

Kit Wilde: Adult Content Creator & Sex Toy expert

“I douche for me, not for them. I fully appreciate and accept that s**t happens but I will do everything in my power to make sure it doesn’t (unless of course we’ve both planned and agreed to it!). If it’s a planned meet I’ll go as far as to plan my eating the day before around the session to make douching easier and quicker” – KW

Moto The Pup: Adult Products Wholesale Manager & Kink enthusiast

“I don’t like to get visitors; I want to be clean. I don’t like scat; I respect those who do but I just don’t like it. If I can avoid getting shit on my tops dick, it’s better for me. Then again, you are sticking your dick in the ‘chocolate box’… so there might be ‘chocolate’ when it comes out. You know, accidents happen, but on a personal note I try my best to make sure that they don’t happen.” – M


It’s purely your choice if you wish to take medication or ‘douching pills’ to assist with your own douching routine. I don’t, however, advise that you do this as a beginner. I say this because I want you to learn how your own body runs – without building a reliance on medication or a specialist pill.

The only reason I am including this section in my guide is that when I tweeted about writing a douching guide – 50% of DM’s I got were from people asking me about using pills and medications to assist with douching.

Douching pills are sold to solidify poop within our systems – assuring that when we go to the toilet and douche, the stool is non-sticky and easy to clean/wipe without residue. Therefore, speeding up the douching process for many.

This is done as most of them contain something called psyllium husk. This is a form of fibre that’s formulated from the husks of the Plantago Ovata’s plant seeds. It’s soluble and is often taken in pill form, or sometimes stirred into drinks. It increases the poop’s ‘bulk’ and also encourages the amount of H2O in it, allowing a smoother and more ‘collated’ exit from your body. So basically, when you wipe, there’s noticeably less residue.

Psyllium Husk: Sold to solidify

If you are taking any form of psyllium husk, it’s ideal to stay well-hydrated. Also, I would also advise avoiding drinking heavily (alcohol) and therefore dehydrating your system. If you become overly dehydrated whilst taking it, you can quite easily get constipated. This is particularly common in those with sensitive stomachs.

I speak of this from personal experience as I gave myself a terrible bout of stomach issues by taking it. Almost 3 months of issues, in fact. I did not hydrate NEARLY as much as I should have – and I suffered the consequences. So, learn from my mistakes.

If you are going to start taking psyllium husk to help with douching – you can easily grab some from influencer-promoted websites and brands. You can also buy it from trusted sellers on eBay and Amazon for a fraction of the price. Just look into who and where you’re purchasing from. If all else fails, you can often find some reasonably priced psyllium husk at places like Holland & Barrett, etc.

If you have been diagnosed with IBS, please speak to your GP before taking psyllium husk.

Some people take anti-diarrhoea medications to give themselves peace of mind – but I am pleading with you to not get yourself into this routine. I see this all the time on Twitter and it’s just not a good idea. I would never advise anyone to rely on a medication that is not recommended by a professional. Medications like Imodium are for upset stomachs – not for anal sex.

Those that do use anti-diarrhoea medications for anal, can often play tricks on their digestive system. From a few people I know personally – it often results in hard-to-pass stool that’s covered in white mucus (which is regularly clear, so you can’t clock it). Large amounts of visible mucus can be a sign of a problem in the bowel – so please avoid these meds and try it the natural way. If you start to notice white mucus after taking anything to help with douching – speak to your GP.


I want to address the inevitable with any person that has lots of anal sex – there will be a time when accidents happen. And by accident, I mean at some stage there will be a smell, maybe some poop – or discoloured water. Shit happens, as they say. You’re just going to have to accept that this is a possibility.

Let me repeat something I say constantly: If you are in bed with someone who will freak out, or make you feel awful for having an accident – then you shouldn’t be in bed with them. Don’t reward that kind of behaviour with your beautiful bottom. Yes, some people will have a natural disgusted reaction to poop. Personally, it would possibly make me gag. That’s out of my control – but I wouldn’t shame or embarrass someone. Because I’m not a dickhead. Also, because there’s no shame in honest, safe, and consensual sex. K?

It’s a bit of a psychological balancing act sometimes between “I don’t want it to happen” / “That’s the function of that part of my body” – and I absolutely get it. It’s up to you to develop this relationship with your comfort and confidence – and it’s also up to you to communicate this with your partner(s). Don’t be embarrassed to inform someone of your boundaries, of what embarrasses you – and what you deem to be unacceptable behaviour. If you aren’t confident in how successful your douche has been, and your partner(s) has arrived – tell them. That’s what I do, anyway.

I don’t know any anal-play-fans who haven’t had some sort of accident in their sexual lifetimes – it’s just part of the process. Our bodies are complex and sometimes unpredictable, and sometimes douching too much or too little can be the reason. This is why I talk about test runs, paying attention to patterns, and getting your energy from food in a way that makes you comfy.

I usually have sex on top of a designated sheet, blanket, or towel. Mostly because I don’t want to get silicone lube on my bedsheets (I like to use silicone lube). But it also helps prevent staining from any residual water or the possibility of mess. Try and keep a pack of (biodegradable) body or face wipes nearby. They are your friend.

If it happens – clean it up and move on. Try and laugh about it. Because it happens to most people, so you’re not uniquely ‘embarrassed’ in this situation. OK?

Shaming someone for having an accident during anal sex is unacceptable. And I will die on that hill.


Yes, over-douching is a thing. The lining inside of your anus is very sensitive and can get irritated. Therefore, if you are continuously douching, and removing the natural bacteria inside of you – It can potentially lead to discomfort, constipation, and irritate you. The latter can leave you much more vulnerable to sexually transmitted infections.

If you listened to the ‘Sex with Topher‘ podcast, episode 1 with Rebecca More (MORE MILF of ‘Cock Destroyers’ fame), you’ll have heard her discussing how she (in her own words) ‘broke’ her butthole by over douching, through a little addiction to the process. This happens to many people who become ‘addicted’ to douching.

I would say that heavily douching more than 4 times a week is ‘over douching’. But again, listen to your body.  If things begin to feel sensitive, uncomfortable – or if you notice drastic changes in how regularly you go to the toilet, give your body a break.

Douching should never completely interrupt the regularity of you going to the toilet, on your days off from anal play. Obviously, it will change the regularity if it’s on the same day as you’ve already encouraged some movement through your body.

Remember what I said at the beginning of the guide: douching is done to clear the ‘entryway’ of the anus – not to give your bowels a full enema.


If you have any questions or would like further clarification on points in this guide, or any of my other guides and work, please feel free to email me or use the contact form.