TOPHER TALK: Erotic Trade Only Magazine | February 2020

Ah, Erotic Trade Only family, I have actually missed you! It feels like it’s been an age since I last wrote a Topher Talk and I’m super excited to begin 2020 on a high note. I’m not moaning about boys, don’t worry, as I’ve dedicated this new year to channelling that energy back into myself. I seemed to have spent 2019 frustrated at men (which you may or may not have picked up on – ahem!).

2019 ended with a constant trail of work and all of it was surrounding sex-positivity, which I am super excited about. November ended with me supporting HIV Test Week through Clonezone and our web of influencers, with its purpose to encourage people to know their status. It’s really that simple but unfortunately – not many people test regularly enough. I have friends in their 40’s who have never taken an HIV test. It’s important to remember that HIV is not a ‘gay disease’ and we should all be having check-ups if we are sexually actives. Once every 3 months will suffice. We are lucky to have the incredible NHS offering this service for free, so enjoy it whilst you still can. And then on December 1st, it’s World AIDS Day, so I collaborated with the incredible team at National AIDS Trust to do a promotional event in Clonezone SOHO alongside selling World AIDS Day pins with 100% of proceeds going to the charity. Clonezone is a gay business and we owe it to our history to push sex education and support the incredible HIV and AIDS charities in and around the UK.

‘The tomorrow people’ photo by Joel Ryder

I was honoured (and quite choked up) to be featured in BOYZ Magazine’s ‘FACES FOR 2020: The tomorrow people’ feature, as someone to ‘watch in 2020’. We did a photoshoot together inside of the iconic Royal Vauxhall Tavern. I’m sat with amazing, hard-working, ground-breaking artists, promoters, managers, and HUMANS in this photo that I genuinely respect. The free queer press is iconic. BOYZ is iconic. My focus always has been and always will be the underground from the sex workers when my career began, I sex shops when I was 18, to queer people picking up these magazines up-and-down the country. What’s the point in going into sex education if I’m VIP? I want people to find me accessible. My DM’s and reputation reflect that. This was a huge honour for me and the perfect way to end the decade. I was also nominated within the ETO Magazine awards for 2020 in two categories: ‘Sexual Health Ambassador’ and ‘Brand Ambassador’. This is honestly just a thrill and I don’t expect to win either due to not having the industry relationships that other candidates have. But its lovely to have my blonde ass in the hat. Thank you!

Christmas and New Year were just very family-orientated but I didn’t actually eat very much. I ended up managing to lose weight over the Xmas break which is very unusual for me. On Christmas Day I managed to walk into the kitchen and smash every single serving plate of my mothers and then on New Year’s Eve, my Mother and I fell through the coffee table TWICE dancing to Mexican music (Los Angeles Azules, to be exact). I did a man-or-two alive though… we’ll see where that leads. I had a date lined up for a couple of days after Christmas and he pretended that a family member was injured to get out of it, so it’s nice to know that men are still battling for my love and affection. And what a fabulous way to end 2019!

Sex with Topher: A sex positivity and sex education podcast.

My website has done well over last year which I am appreciative of. I’ve had really good feedback from my ‘Beginners Guide to Anal Sex’ and in December I launched the ‘Beginners Guide to Oral’ which has also had some really good feedback. I’m constantly getting emails from people asking for tips, which is what the website was designed for – so I can’t complain really! With my ‘own brand’ in mind, I’m super excited to announce that my very own podcast, Sex with Topher, is launching on Valentine’s Day (February 14th). ‘Sex with Topher’ is my new baby. A free podcast dedicated to discussing sex, sex education, responsible behaviour, self-confidence and more but in a realistic and unfiltered environment. It won’t be clinical or patronising. There’s a lot of sex ed out there which doesn’t cut it as it’s not conversational, so I’m basically saying:” Think of me as your mate, who’s been around the block, a tart with a heart”. You can talk to me about anything, ask me anything and I’ll do my best to help. I’m happy to get into the nitty-gritty and topics that aren’t glamorous.  I’m just taking my writing style to your headphones. It’ll be available for free on Spotify, Apple Podcasts etc. etc. Just search ‘Sex with Topher’. Or click here.

With the above in mind, I’d like to take this opportunity to let sex toys brands know that I am officially back-in-the-game for product reviews, both for the website and with things to discuss on the podcast. I’m ideally looking for masturbators, probes, P-spot devices, unique lubricants – as well as beginners’ toys. ALSO, if you’re an XXX player or sex educator and want to guest on the podcast – get into contact! You can email me at or simply SLIDE into my DM’s!